The best statistical analysis ever

OK, enough of this worrying about what sort of patterns we can find for data breaches. What about more interesting things – like whether there's a correlation between children swallowing coins and the stock market? Well, it turns out that that's already been done. Three doctors at Harvard Medical School collected data for three years on this very topic. Here's the abstract from the article they published that described their findings:

Objective To examine the relation between coins ingested by children and the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

Design Observational study.

Main outcome measures Total value of coins ingested and number of incidents of coins versus other objects swallowed, measured before and after the stock market crash of October 2008.

Results Eighteen objects, including 11 coins, were ingested (NASDAQ (numismatic and sundry detritus acquired) composite of 18). The total value of the 11 coins swallowed was $1.03 (FTSE 100 (fraction of the US$ or 100 cents) index of 103). The pecuniary extraction ratio (PE ratio) was 0.57 (9/16). Comparing values for a period before and after October 2008, the mean monthly NASDAQ composite (0.41 (SD 0.67) v 0.5 (0.85), P=0.75), FTSE 100 index in cents (2.3 (6.8) v 3.1 (7.8), P=0.77), and PE ratio (0.54 (0.52) v 0.66 (0.29), P=0.50) did not change. The mean end-of-month closing value of the Dow Jones, however, decreased significantly (12‚ÄČ537 (841.4) v 8388 (699.8), P<0.001)

Conclusion There was no detectable difference in the total value of coins ingested, or ratio of coins to other objects swallowed, before or after a massive stock market crash.

I'm not sure that's as interesting as what we can learn about data breaches. Not as useful, either.

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